This is not the post I had hoped to be writing. This is supposed to be a big month for me. I started this blog one year ago and I thought I could write a whole post about my one year blogiversary. I enjoy creating allergen free recipes, I get excited about posting them, and I love hearing from my readers so much...but here it is my one year anniversary and I find myself burned out and tired. I just don't feel like celebrating.
Emily's birthday is next week too. I had planned on developing the perfect allergen free cake by now. I had given myself a whole year to figure it out. I was going to be the most amazing chef ever with my gluten free, egg free, dairy free cake that looked, tasted, and felt just like "the real thing"! The cake is getting better, I will admit, but it's still not what I want it to be. It's not ready to post. We will be having cupcakes this year...Emily with hers, and everyone else with Betty Crocker.
Then there is her party. My husband lost his job last month, then got hired by another company, only to find out that they too are closing their doors. I have been looking for work since September, but apparently staying home and taking care of allergy ridden children for 10 years doesn't look impressive on a resume. I know I should just take a deep breath and relax but I don't want a bunch of strangers in my filthy house. I don't want to feel like I should apologize for the home made pinata or the lack of toys in the goody bags, and especially not for the allergen free food! I just don't feel like celebrating.
Remember way back when I started this blog and I said I would be doing some venting? Well I've been having so much fun that I never really had anything to vent about. Now I do...thank you for listening. Gosh this feels so wrong. Everything I have said here is so opposite of what it was supposed to be. This should have been my happiest, most fun, and excitement filled month ever, and I really am sorry that I just don't feel like celebrating. Maybe next month. :)
That just plain sucks! I hope things start looking brighter for you soon. I am sure your little one will love the party no matter what!
ReplyDeleteHopefully things will get better soon! It is perfectly ok to feel down. My friend works for JP morgan, and is a financial analyst, and says that the economy is expected to pick up by midyear, with unemployent getting lowered by that point, and a nice recovery by 2010... so hopefully there is a light at the end of the tunnel. If need be, can you get a job in retail?
ReplyDeleteHang in there. It's funny how our best laid plans change... You'll make it work!
ReplyDeleteAwww I'm sorry you're feeling down right now. It happens to all of us from time to time. It's easy to get burned out when you're dealing with food allergies (I know, some days I sit and stare at recipe after recipe for hours on end trying to decide what we're going to have for dinner that won't make me or the kids sick but that everyone will eat).
ReplyDeleteThere's a recipe for Gluten Freedom cupcakes in Vegan Cupcakes take Over the World that can be converted to chocolate (it's vanilla). Made from Quinoa flour but I've read that people have used other things. Best thing is they're dairy, egg and gluten free. If you'd like the recipe just send me an email and I'll happily send it to you :)
I hope your little girl has a special day and I hope you feel a little better soon.
I'm so sorry about the job situation! I'm keeping you all in my prayers that things turn around.
ReplyDeleteI gave up on the cake. I tried and tried and tried and said "crap". Cherrybrook Kitchen or Gluten Free Pantry is close enough for me;) I've actually had them blow up in my kitchen where chocolate ooze was dripping from my ceiling. That's when I said ENOUGH. You'll get the cake down, and in the meantime, let them eat "boxed" cupcakes :)
Your blog is awsome and so are you! These are really tough times right now. HUGS to all of you!
Thanks for being so honest about how you are feeling. It really helps to hear others in the same boat. Why do you have to have a bunch of people over for a birthday? Can you just say "this year we're celebrating as a family" and do something special as a family? maybe buy a new game to play together, or a new movie? Sometimes we declare the day PJ day and lounge around all day. A very fun day when we are used to busy schedules. Kids birthdays are supposed to be fun, a shame us FA families end up feeling to stressed. Hope it goes well for you. . .
ReplyDeleteWe are definietly living in scary times. Just know that you are making a difference in the life of an EE mom and wife...making me motivated to try new recipes; stepping outside my box. I know that I have mentioned this before, but it seems to me that you have a God-given gift for inventing delicious and fun allergen-free foods. Maybe this is the perfect job opportunity for a stay-at-home momma...just a thought. Stay strong, this too shall pass! <>< Lisa
ReplyDeleteOh, by the way....HAPPY BLOGIVERSSAY!!! :)
ReplyDeleteOh yea- in regard to creating the allergen free recipes, your tomato free ketchup is my g-d.... I make it constantly, and the whole family eats it- I buy the baby foods when they are super cheap in stores.... I just want you to know how much I appreciate all the work you put in to make these wonderful recipes!
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