This is not the post I had hoped to be writing. This is supposed to be a big month for me. I started this blog one year ago and I thought I could write a whole post about my one year blogiversary. I enjoy creating allergen free recipes, I get excited about posting them, and I love hearing from my readers so much...but here it is my one year anniversary and I find myself burned out and tired. I just don't feel like celebrating.
Emily's birthday is next week too. I had planned on developing the perfect allergen free cake by now. I had given myself a whole year to figure it out. I was going to be the most amazing chef ever with my gluten free, egg free, dairy free cake that looked, tasted, and felt just like "the real thing"! The cake is getting better, I will admit, but it's still not what I want it to be. It's not ready to post. We will be having cupcakes this year...Emily with hers, and everyone else with Betty Crocker.
Then there is her party. My husband lost his job last month, then got hired by another company, only to find out that they too are closing their doors. I have been looking for work since September, but apparently staying home and taking care of allergy ridden children for 10 years doesn't look impressive on a resume. I know I should just take a deep breath and relax but I don't want a bunch of strangers in my filthy house. I don't want to feel like I should apologize for the home made pinata or the lack of toys in the goody bags, and especially not for the allergen free food! I just don't feel like celebrating.
Remember way back when I started this blog and I said I would be doing some venting? Well I've been having so much fun that I never really had anything to vent about. Now I do...thank you for listening. Gosh this feels so wrong. Everything I have said here is so opposite of what it was supposed to be. This should have been my happiest, most fun, and excitement filled month ever, and I really am sorry that I just don't feel like celebrating. Maybe next month. :)